I Consider it Amazing

If I were asked what my favorite Christian song is, there would be no time needed to ponder all the titles in search of the right answer. My favorite song is “Amazing Grace,” as it reminds me of how merciful and amazing God’s love is towards me. The meaning of God’s amazing grace became evident at the bedside of my son Anthony in 1995.

Anthony was born with the message from doctors that death would soon follow. He was crippled and afflicted, relying on medical technology to keep him alive. Three brain diseases, heart problems, cerebral palsy, and a quadriplegic made him a child with no hope. He was blind, deaf, and had no chance of ever walking or talking. His days were spent in a shell called a body, fighting to breathe through a trachea tube, eating through a tube in his stomach, and tackling each infection as it attacked him. He lived in a persistent vegetative state with no hope of becoming “normal”.

Through the life of this precious child, the course of my life would change forever. It was through his life that I realized the meaning of God’s amazing love and grace. Anthony did not need to speak to me, he did not need to hug me and call me “mom”. He did not need to buy me gifts for Mother’s day or smile at me as a child smiles at his mother because he loves her. Anthony gave me more through his silence than I could have ever felt possible. His life, as my son, spoke to me of an eternal life and love that was his, given freely by our father Christ Jesus. He was an inspiration for life, each day to be lived just as God intended it to be.

As I sat on the bed beside Anthony, I knew God was present and was embracing us. How blessed I was to be able to give birth to this beautiful child, to hold him in my arms and watch him take his first breath. Now here I was again, nine and a half short years later, able to once again hold him in my arms, as he took his very last breath in life. God was ever present, as I held him, telling him that it was ok to go, God was waiting for him with open arms. As he took his last breath, I sang softly to him the words from the song that became real to me on that day:

The earth shall soon dissolve like snow, the sun forbear to shine;
But God, who called me here below, will be forever mine!

God blessed my life with Anthony, if only for a season, and I thank God every day for this. Through him, I learned not to question God as to why he takes people we love away from us, rather, to give thanks to  Him for blessing us, if only for a season.

 When times get tough and hope seems lost, I think back to the days when Anthony was here and remember that even through the tough times and difficult situations, God is present, faithful, and merciful.  We all have the capacity to live our lives in a way that pleases God; it is up to us to believe in the talents that He has gifted us with and to make a difference here on earth! Not a single day should be wasted….we do not know how many we have left. Now is the time to set the world on fire for Christ!

Just as Anthony was blind, so too was I, but because of God’s mercy and forgiveness I can now see! One day I too will take a final breath and will walk into my heavenly Father’s arms. One day, God will be forever mine!