My Meandering Midriff

Yes, I have a midriff...and yes, I truly believe it's meandering. It's very simple to explain...even to a person who doesn't quite understand what a midriff is, and how it could possibly be meandering.
 Quite some time ago, I noticed my midriff taking on a new form. This new form is what we call "expansion." I didn't take a special pill for this, nor, did I order it from a catalog. Like many other middle age anomalies, it just decided to make an appearance one day. My assumption was that to ignore my midriff would result in its disappearance, which seemed like the logical next step for me to take. But did this happen? Of course not!!

Against strict instruction from my inner body self, my midriff invited a few friends over to join it....we'll call these friends the "fat cell." There was an entire family of these fat cells.....mother father, sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles, grandparents (from both sides of the family) and too many cousins to count! They came over, uninvited by me of course. But as most families do, they chose themselves to move in without any consideration to the homeowners feelings.

I believe that some of these "fat cell" members have given birth.....possibly to quadruplets or something because they're taking up more and more space. I did what every responsible homeowner would do when the fat cells became unruly and belligerent......I put up an eviction notice with a 30 day move out demand. Do you think they've listened? Of course not!!!

So.....I am a homeowner with a few tenants....that have moved in and refuse to leave....I recently noticed that they've invited another friend to move into my downstairs apartment as well... but this is a story for another day.....

Do I qualify for an extreme home makeover???
Theresa