Denouncing "I Love You.....But"

Have you heard this phrase recently? It seems that when I become aware of something being said, I hear it more frequently throughout the day. This is a phrase I've heard quite a bit lately and I have to be honest in saying that I just don't care for it.

So why does this one stick in my craw and irritate the Simon right out of me? After thinking about it for a while,. I've come to the conclusion that I don't care for this phrase because of who is saying it and the context in which is it being used. I'm speaking specifically about Christians who use this phrase in their conversation with other Christians. There is no specific example to be given (if I did, some would be quite upset thinking it was them I was directing this to), just suffice it to say that if a person is giving "loving" advice to another and this phrase comes up, it comes across to me as a way to soften a negative blow about to be delivered. 

For example, if you feel that you are of the level of expertise to critique how another Christian is living their life and the conversation won't be positive, you begin with the softening opener of I love you "but". What follows can typically be described as a critique of the other persons shortcomings which is sure to cause pain at some level. 

But because "I love you...but" is placed at the beginning of the discussion, it gives free reign to the person speaking because they are now speaking out of love.

Ok, call me crazy but is it ok for something being said out of love have a condition to it? Are we allowed to criticize another person and get away with it because we've prefaced the talk with love? Are we really speaking a message that God himself would speak when we use the word "but" after the I love you part?

Imagine if in various sections of the bible God states that he loves us and then follows it up with a "but." Now I think he would be the only one justified in doing this as he is God but he doesn't do this does he? He speaks truth without condition, he speaks love without condition, he doesn't throw in the conditional words, which we all know, we would be qualified recipients for if he so chose to do this.

So what's the point? Simply this.....when you speak in love, speak in love. Love doesn't hurt, it doesn't cause pain and it doesn't criticize. Words of love that are spirit filled are beautiful and encouraging, not negative and condemning. Watch your words and follow the old adage..."if you can't say something nice....say nothing"!
Theresa