Should I Be This Relieved?

I'm counting days on unemployment.....should I be doing this? Is it healthy? "Officially" I'm on day 4 of my unemployment journey.....how long do I go before it changes from unemployment to job seeking? Do i wake up one day and decide that I'm no longer unemployed but actively seeking another career? Do I get a certain amount of time that allowable by unemployment etiquette experts for grieving my loss and working through my emotions? Should I be emotional? Should I have rages of anger against those who pulled the career carpet out from underneath me?

There's a part of me that thinks I should be angry and upset at my loss but I'm just not able to muster up this emotion. I had a wonderful job and worked with some pretty incredible people. I loved the company and outside of my own personal opinions about some of the management (or lack of), I'm really quite proud of the work I accomplished in the 4 1/2 years I was there. I made friends that will remain my friends and I gained additional skills that I can use in the future.

I don't think I'll count days on unemployment and I don't think I'll opt for the anger period. What I think I will do is recognize that there are skills that others around me had that I never want to become good at. Here are a few of them.....let's hope you can't relate to them.....

1.) Leadership: If you're going to call yourself a leader, then be one!!! Don't talk about being a leader if you can't understand the concept of becoming "engaged." Leaders "Lead" and they do so by providing the right example. Get rid of the old "Do what I say, not as I do" mentality and guide your people to success, that's what you were hired for!!

2.) Management by fear: This is a tactic that I personally experienced but never became skilled at for obvious reasons. Fear my be the way that you think you can motivate people but all it really does is build a wall up between you and your team and removes any chance of a trusting relationship. Get rid of the statement "Well, if you don't think you can be happy here, maybe you're in the wrong place." Or even better "If you really want your job, you'll do what I tell you to do." Yeah, those statements will get people to rally behind you and make you successful......."NOT"

3.) Falseness (Is this a word??): You've seen this one probably....."I'm going to be nice to you today because I need something from you but tomorrow things will be back to normal." I became very good at knowing when someone wanted something from me because of how they treated me. For some people in management, they are genuine and "consistent," they compliment you and provide stable management so you know they're looking out for your best interests.

The ones who get under my skin are the ones who act all sweet and kind because they have a report due and you're the only one who can get them the information. Once you do this, back to Management by fear. If you're doing this...."Shame on you!!!" People deserve to be treated with respect and as the saying goes "You're only as successful as the people that work with you." Don't make them feel like they're beneath you because you have a bigger title and more clout. Karma will get you eventually and you'll be on unemployment as well.......

Can you relate to any of these, I mean, do you manage with these styles? If so, you won't be on my friend list, those are the kinds of friends I can do without......

For those who have experienced the other side of these things, hang in there....better days are always ahead!

Therapy session is over....go out and have a great day!
Theresa