Wanted....Skinny Woman To Wear My Bikini

My next advertisement for the local newspaper will read as follows:
"Wanted....Skinny woman to wear my bikini while pretending to be me..." Height must be proportionate to weight (assuming both are perfect), skin tone resembling a copper penny (no spray on tans please), must sport high quality manicure and pedicure (preferably in a shade of red to match the bikini), no visible scars or tattoos (unless your tattoo is my husbands name and tastefully done), long legs that never end, dainty fingers and wrists, a voice that speaks softly while being strong enough for others to want to listen, hypnotic eyes and long soft wispy curls that create a perfect shell around the face.
Those having the following "additional" qualifications need not apply:

Wrinkles of any kind, anywhere....gray hair, crows feet, protruding veins, scars or strecthmarks (including those that you've attempted to cover up with a tattoo - exception: your tattoo is my husbands name and tastefully done), exceptionally long or large ear lobes, double chin, swollen hands, legs, feet (this includes cankles), a deep southern drawl, a wardrobe that has any plaid in it (or any other clothing you've kept with you since high school).
If you have body parts that have been referred to as any of the following, you are unqualified to apply as well:

Muffin top, rhino rump, hippo hips, baby fat, beer belly, tootie fruity bootie, arm maracas (or, arm swings), heifer, jelly belly, chunky, thunder thighs, fluffy, pleasantly plump, large and in charge, tubby, pudgy, rollie pollie, plump, rotund, chubby, beefy, porky, flabby, flubby, big boned or dumpling. Note::if you are aware of any other terms that should be included here, please let me know. 
I don't want to give the appearance that I'm leaving anyone out....

Would you read this and consider me a vain person? Would you find me to have a lower than normal self-esteem (or the appearance of none whatsoever?) Do you sit at on your side of the computer screen thinking "Now here's a gal that's got the right idea.....she recognizes her "inadequacies" and is willing to shout out to the world "I'm not at all pleased with who I am!"

Now turn the mirror around and take a glance at the person you see. Which part of the advertisement above do you fit into? When was the last time that you long to look like someone else, act like someone  else, have what someone else had, all because you weren't pleased with the body, brains and personality you've been blessed with? How many times have you dieted, exercised and shopped, only to find yourself more depressed about the real you than you were when you began? How many times have you whispered to yourself "If only....."

Some may say it's my age, or, a decreased desire to waste energy on continually focusing on my outside appearance but my perspective on how others view me and how I view myself have changed over the past few years. Sure, I want to be able to dress up, wear a little makeup and smell like fresh flowers every once and a while.....I desire to receive "the look" from my husband when we're in public or even sharing quiet times alone. I just don't seem to be consumed anymore with how my outside self looks these days. Instead, I'm discovering that there's a whole other part of "me" that needs focused attention and work------my "inner self."

My inner self was left alone, without grooming for far too long, but there is still time to dust off the cobwebs and decorate! How I care for what's inside will shine through on the outside, allowing all a glimpse of who I really am....a beautiful and wonderfully made me!
 
To say that I was anything less than beautiful would be saying that God creates imperfect things wouldn't it? God set me apart before I was even conceived, he designed me, created me and planned my life.....God doesn't mess up with anything he is in charge of, this includes me!

The bikini....well, Goodwill is always taking donations and someone may be able to make it work for them. I love who I am and am thankful for one-pieces!!
Theresa